guilt · illness · life lessons · pain in the butt kitty cat

ugh. and persistent kitty cats.

I had to go to the doctor this week. I was feeling so bad that I was excited to go.

I’m going to be okay, but for the time being I am still not feeling well. A little better, I guess.

Anyway, I am really tired of this. On one hand, I am grateful I am all right. On the other hand, I just want to feel normal again.

So, you know, I’m one of those people who rarely gets sick. And even when I am sick, I do all the things I normally do because I figure checking out only makes things worse. I don’t want to lie around all day. I hate it.

Unfortunately, this time around I have to take care of myself. And I feel guilty about it. Like I should be getting shit done. I don’t like my husband working all day like he does and having to come home to do a lot of the things I normally do.

And you know what else? My pets are so fucking confused. Their mother, who typically plays with them kind of a lot, is on her ass all the time now.

As I type this, my cat is sitting next to the backdoor meowing because she wants to go outside. We are not going out right now. In fact, I think I want to take a bath.

I feel guilty.

Stupid, isn’t it. She’s a cat. We will play outside again soon. Just not right now.

I know there are lessons for me to learn from feeling this bad.

This guilt over taking care of myself might be something to think about more.

Anyway, I just wanted to pop in and whine a little. It makes me feel a little better.

A little better is a step in the right direction, huh.