God · Goddess · sleepy time · sunny day · tiny story · writing

Flip of the Switch

The Goddess climbed the stairs and tucked her rolled-up yoga mat away in the corner of the hall next to the massive wooden door. Before she opened the portal, she took a moment to run her hand gently over the carving of the entire universe deep within the mahogany.
 
She hated to admit it, but at first she thought the design of this door sounded kinda egotistical when he suggested it. But because it turned out so beautifully, she now considered it one of her favorite things in their home.
 
That’s when she heard the big rumbling of snoring coming from inside the next room.
 
He was asleep.
 
Good. The man was a notorious workaholic. He was always in need of more rest.
 
She pushed the door open slowly and froze when it made its familiar creak. But she didn’t have to worry–the big guy kept on snoring.
 
Walking over to the enormous desk, she looked at the array of papers and puzzle books and empty mugs with tea bag tags hanging over their sides. The great monitor in front of him sparkled with all the goings-on of the blue and green planet below. Millions of blinking red buttons and a big keyboard sat at his fingertips.
 
Watching him sleep, she couldn’t help thinking how handsome he still was. When they first met back when they were young, he was so gorgeous. But then again, so was she.
 
The Goddess smiled when she caught sight of the latest Danielle Steele novel crumpled up between his weathered hands in his lap as he continued his snooze fest.
 
She decided she wouldn’t bother him and just let him be.
 
Turning her attention to the monitor and then all the blinking buttons, she took a second to bend over the board and flip the button for “Rain in Ohio” off and flick the “Unusually Pleasant and Sunny Fall-like Spring Day in Ohio” button on.
 
Then she glanced at Ohio on the screen and watched everyone who lived there smile at the same time.
 
The Goddess kissed her man gently on his head then turned and walked out of the room, closing the starry door behind her.
 
On her way back down the stairs, their two yappy Chihuahuas Starsky and Hutch came barreling towards her.
 
“Well, finally! Where have you guys been? Hey! Hey…shh, guys…shh shh shh! Daddy’s sleeping. Let’s go get a snack. Who wants to go get some treats?”
 
And the three of them took off together, skipping on down to the heavenly kitchen for a divine lunch of hummus salad sandwich, pink lemonade and a handful of mini Milk Bones.
disciples · fireworks · God · Goddess · Jesus · thunderstorm · writing

Light Up the Sky Saturday Night

God steered the big old noisy beat up Ford pickup truck in a half circle and then backed it up in the clearing near where the fire pit and tents were set up.

Suddenly, 13 young boys wearing nothing but cut off jean shorts came running out of the woods like a pack of wild baboons.

“Dad!” yelled the one in front who was clearly the ringleader of the bunch. “Guys! He’s here, come on!!”

God smiled. Them young ones were a rowdy bunch, but his son and his best buddies were the forbidden apples of the old man’s eye.

They all congregated around the man climbing out of his truck.

“Did ya get ’em?!” his son asked.

God rumpled the kid’s long stringy hair.

All the other boys looked up at him eagerly, their faces filthy from playing in the forest.

“Of course I got ’em. I’m God, aren’t I?”

All the boys jumped up and down and cheered.

The crew walked to the back of the truck and God opened the tailgate.

Inside the truck was a mother lode of pyrotechnics that he had just purchased at the store next to the Kwik-Pak where he got his weekly case of Pabst Blue Ribbon.

“Wooooaaaahhhh,” all the boys said as the Creator of the Universe crawled up into the truck. He pulled his long grey hair into a ponytail then wrapped a threadbare bandana around his head. Then he began to unload the booty.

The boys crowded around buzzing with excitement. They watched the man set up all the explosives carefully. At one point, he looked up and smiled and said:

“This is gonna give them people on Earth quite the thunderboomer.”

“Yeh!!” the boys all agreed.

“Thanks, dad,” the ringleader boy said.

“Well, now…you’re welcome, Jesus,” the old man replied trying not to get misty. Then he advised all the younguns to get on out of the way.

And for the next several hours God set off all the fireworks much to his and the boys’ delight and to the dismay of thousands of children and dogs living in the Ohio Valley region.

When the big sound and light show slowed to an end, God passed out crackling Sparklers to the pack of wild hyena boys who ran like streaks of lightning through the field.

God opened a cold one and sat on the edge of the bed of his truck and watched with a gleam in his eye.

Suddenly the Goddess was by his side with a big picnic basket full of fixins to make S’mores. She put it down when God handed her a beer.

They watched the boys running and screaming with more energy than 10 super cell thunderstorms.

“Those boys are gonna crash and burn so damn hard,” she said.

Then she and God laughed before sucking down the rest of their brews on that Heavenly stormy night.